Volume 39 Issue 6: Be Assertive!

Are you someone that lets life happen or do you get involved and take part in the decisions that shape your personal success and your future? Everyone has different ways of dealing with situations, however there are some commonalities among personality styles that group people into three categories: passive, aggressive, and assertive.

PASSIVE people let the situation unfold without their input. Oftentimes, they sit back and observe even if they do have something valuable to add. Passive individuals would prefer that something or someone else determine what happens next.

An AGGRESSIVE person takes charge right away without any concern or care for what anyone else involved might think. This person is dominant and wants others to know it. The decisions this person makes can often violate the wants and wishes of others and may be even offensive.

An ASSERTIVE person responds to a situation somewhere between the aggressive and passive individual. This person recognizes the value of his or her voice and opinions and has the self-confidence to offer up suggestions. This person does so with the perfect blend of power and respect, but is not so overbearing that he or she ignores the needs of others who might be involved. He or she is very self-aware and uses an approach that is thoughtful and considerate when it comes to other personality types that may be involved.

When you look at the three types of responses, it’s clear that the assertive individual is the person who will most likely resolve a situation without creating additional conflict. Becoming an assertive person simply requires you pay attention to how you communicate with others and recognize the moments when you need to speak up to take part in your future. Further, you also have to know and understand the other people involved in the situation so you can meet their communication needs.

Let’s take a look at some of the qualities of an assertive individual:

  • An assertive person makes legitimate requests and is willing to work to find alternative solutions if an appropriate outcome can’t be reached. If the other person doesn’t have a good reason for resisting the request, the assertive person will stand firm and hold his or her ground.

  • An assertive person provides feedback based on the situation and not the person or people involved in the situation. He or she avoids belittling people or permitting negative behavior or attitudes to cloud judgments.

  • When feedback is negative, the assertive person works with the other party to help them understand that looking at the root of the issue and not taking the feedback personally will create a better outcome in the long run.

  • If the feedback is positive, the assertive person will compliment the other party on his or her involvement and ask that future interactions be as balanced and objective.

  • When receiving any type of feedback, the assertive person is gracious and polite.

  • If the feedback is negative, the assertive person understands that there are differences between subjective and objective comments and works to change the issues that can be resolved.

  • If the feedback is positive, the assertive person accepts any compliments and thanks the other party for sharing his or her thoughts.

  • When confronted by aggressive behavior, the assertive person maintains his or her self-control. This person avoids feelings of anger and avoids being baited into arguments that might undermine his or her role in the discussion.

Written by Life Advantages - Author Delvina Miremadi ©2019 


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