“Too Much usually isn’t a good thing for any of us. Too much time working causes us to have little free time. Too much television leads us to be inactive. Too much internet eats up a lot of our free time. We may even know this to be true but yet may not feel able to change. Often not feeling like one can change is related to the difficulty of having motivation to change.
What about when our partner says to us that our ‘too muchness” is upsetting to them? Now there is a whole different element involved. It is not just our point of view that is relevant but the feelings of the person that we love. How easy it is to be defensive and justify our point of view rather than trying to understand. We see it as our partner wanting control rather than understanding that our partner really wants us! All of these “too much” activities can rob us of time and energy to be together. After all, isn’t being connected with your partner what an intimate relationship is really all about? “Too much” is interfering!
Try letting go of the “too much.” You just might find that you really like the alternative better!
For more information about Tom Jacobs, LCPC, click here.
Originally published December 1, 2016